February 25, 2010

Dear Parents:

We had a wonderful few days with author Vanessa Van Petten.  I wanted to share a few notes from her discussions with both parents and students . Vanessa is a vibrant, bright 24 year old who was a triple major at Emory University, is writing her third book and has one of the most successful parenting websites online. She also has a tween/teen website that uses 82 teen intern writers, all over the country. She is sponsored by some of the biggest corporations and has been a speaker for CNN, a mediator on “Housewives of Orange County” and most recently appeared on “The Doctors.”

Vanessa spoke with parents on Tuesday night and the fourth through eighth grade students on Wednesday.  As I am sure you are aware, about 95% of these students are online, and from  fifth through eighth grade a majority is using a social network site like Facebook.  Please continue to monitor your children on line- not only for safety in terms of predators but for content, personal information and photos that are posted.

Vanessa spoke about privacy settings.  Please make sure that if your child is using Facebook, or a social networking site that their page  has appropriate privacy settings so that only invited “friends” and family can view their personal content.  I did a random check on Tuesday night, TOO MANY students had “open” pages.  I could see where they live, what school they attended, their age and photos.  I told your students this and so did Vanessa. I went on last night to see Vanessa’s impact- THE MAJORITY HAD CHANGED THEIR PRIVACY SETTINGS but not all.

Vanessa spoke about students doing a “teacher test” on their content and photos online.

• Would I show these comments to my teacher?
• Would I show these photos to my teachers?
• Are my applications appropriate?

She also told them that they need to have a plan of what to do if someone does something online they do not like:

• STOP- before acting
• SAVE- Save and print the offensive material/photo
• REPORT- to a parent, a teacher, the site or to ANCOMM.COM (anonymously report anything is you are afraid to do it yourself)

She spoke about making sure children protect their PASSWORD. Many children admitted they share their passwords.  This leads to many problems such as cyberbullying and email/page tampering.

She recommends using “Zoobuh” for safe email options for children.

DID YOU KNOW...

• 63% of teens say they know how to hide what they do online from their parents (Harris Interactive-McAfee 10/2008)
• One in five kids have engaged in cyberbullying behavior -- posting embarrassing photos, spreading rumors, and more. (Harris Interactive-McAfee, 10/2008)
• 69% of teens regularly receive personal messages online from people they don't know and most don't tell a trusted adult about it. (Cox Communications in partnership with NCMEC and John Walsh, 2007).
• More than one in 10 students have accepted an invitation to meet an online stranger in person (Rochester Institute of Technology, 2008).

I can already see the impact Vanessa made in her short visit.  The children were bombarding her with great questions both during and after her presentation.  The facial expressions and exchange of looks during her presentations were PRICELESS.

Check out her website Radicalparenting.com!

Thanks for allowing us the privilege of helping your children grow up safely!

Danielle Ockman